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About Literature / Hobbyist planken22/Other/Norway Group :icontau-stronghold: Tau-Stronghold
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Waking up, out of bed. Skip shower. Cigarette at the kitchen table over moldy food.
Another day. She’s not sure why. It had been a nice time, new tattoo. Sent her girlfriend some wine.  But now she got important stuff to do. She gets dressed,  stands up. The kitchen table looks really out of place in her captain’s cabin. She smiles at the mirror image. Eyeliner. Mascara.  Heer captains robes which she ones stole from a very well-decorated admiral. And her orange tank-top.
She walks out on deck. Looks across her crew and shouts ‘’THEY MAY COME! FOR WE*RE BRINGING OUR VOWES TO OUR  NEW SAVIOUR! THE CAT-QUEEN!’’
Cheers were shouted. Drinks were drank, and then they went onto the docks. For on the docks were many ships. But mostly the cat-queens.

And the cat-queen were the most beautiful woman Captain Plank had ever seen. Hair as black as shadows, eyes like amber, and atop her head, some of the  fluffiest cat-ears. She walks across the dock, flanked by her crew. Weapons drawn. Cannons ready. They meet at the dock. 20 ships. 19 against the ginger that were Plank.  Men against men. Guns against guns . Captains staring each other down. The cat-queen were not smiling. Not  speaking. But then Sonja looks at the cat-queen , and starts laughing ‘’KITTEN! YER LOOKS GOOD TODAY! WHAT YE SAY!? WANNE BE ME GIRFLRIEND!?’’

The cat-queen. Queen of the  seven  tribes gets shocked. Just WHAT is this ginger shouting!? She’s speechless, but  the ginger grins, a cigarette hanging loosely out of Sonja’s mouth. ‘’AYE! YER HEARD ME! BE ME GIRLFRIEND ALREADY! FER ME LOVE YER SO!’’ and the cat-queen stares confused. ‘’w-w-wWhat!?’’ she utters too low for anyone to hear her. But Sonja shouts ‘’AYE YER! ME MEAN YER!’’ and then she walks forward and grins as she holds forth a bottle of rum ‘’be mine. Me love yer o’so dearly. Yer the cutest, fluffiest cat-queen me ever seen. So come be mine, or me may forever be drunk alone’’

To this the cat-queen responds by grabbing the bottle and drinking heavily and when she speaks her words are clear‘’you are the first to speak to me in this way’’ and Sonja laughs and  puffs on her cigarette-butt before she spits it out into the sea and replies ‘’Gotta be the first to something Now aye or nay?’’ to which the cat-queen takes her arm and Sonja pulls her into a kiss before the cat-queen can do anything and says ‘’now we sealed the deal’’

And that’s the tale of how the dreaded captain Crazy Plank became the lap-dog of the cat-queen. Now she enjoys sitting on her cat-queens lap, barking cutely in private. Yet skins her enemies alive when out in public.
When you are drunk and writes a love-story
baaaaaah. Love-story... one of the few i ever written. I hope yer like it.
Sonja stood behind the bar, wearing a her usual skinny jeans and tank-top with a band on it. She were currently pouring a pint with Kay watching her to make sure she pours it right.
When done she takes a quick glance over to Kay to make sure he’s accepting the poured wine. He gives her a nod and gets down from the dwarf-stand behind the bar and walks over around the bar where Sonja serves him said tankard and he drinks.

Sonja herself pours a drinking horn of mead and takes a sip. She smiles at the taste before turning to serve a few other people. When everyone have their alcohol she drinks from her tankard.  Dawn the human woman enters, sits down and orders herself a non-alcoholic beer, which Sonja nods to and serves her said non-alcoholic beer.

Kay raises a brow at this and says ‘’non-alcoholic beer?’’ to which Dawn replies ‘’why not? I’m in a dwarven town but I don’t drink alcohol’’ This makes Sonja giggle as she swipes the bar.

As people talk Someone mentions that Sonja should wear a uniform, preferably something revealing, to which Kay replies ‘’Matje, we don’t keep uniforms in my bar. She can wear whatever she wants’’

To this Dawn replies with ‘’spandex, A glittery spandex suit. Like the dancers’’ this makes Sonja first blush then giggle as she imagine herself in that. Kay shakes his head and says ‘’there will be no spandex or latex on Sonja’’

Sonja shakes her smiling head at this before she takes another sip of mead and says ‘’so how’s it going?  No more Gomorrah taxi?’’ to which she shakes her head ‘’no Planke. That’s long ago’’ to which Sonja replies ‘’oh...Sorry, me were drunk the times yer told me. Should o’remembered. Oh well. Always fun hearing stories me say’’ she then drinks some water and pours a gin-tonic as she sees Drake entering the pub.

Drake sits his fluffy wolfman ass down on the chair and out of his ship-captain jacket comes a wallet, he pays in cash and Sonja takes it, counts and hands him the change and drink.

‘’what’s this? Planke became a wench when I were out at sea? When did this happen?’’ to which she replies ‘’ got really drunk one day and couldn’t pay me tab!’’ before she starts laughing and Kay adds in ‘’She wanted a job and I needed someone else to man the bar a few days. So I hired Planke’’ Sonja nods and giggles ‘’that’s true. That’s how it be’’  and then she laughs  and drinks some more mead.  She’s not even tipsy, she’s just happy today. And Drake chuckles and says with a humored tone ‘’Well, you were always here anyway. Might as well get paid for it right? And you got a drinking horn? I’m jealous’’

To this Sonja giggles and replies ‘’aye me do, Bought it meself at a museum. So how’s the seas? Any fun atta the seas?’’ to this he gives off a teeth-y grin and answers ‘’Aye Lass. The seas be harsh and the dwarves be harsher. Good thing they learned ship-building from somewhere. Fer they sure made it better, good dwarven steel and even better dwarven cannons. Gotta protect the trade across the silent ocean. Not much out there except pirates and storms. And stormy pirates. ‘’

This intrigues Sonja and she says ‘’tell me a story about those new lands. Tell me oh tell me tell me tell me!’’ and Drake indulges her and tells her a sailors story about exotic lands and weird lizardmen across the sea.
Another story of the dwarven bar
so I finally got my muse back it seems. I've been writing again. Even managed to finish an entire story :D nothing special of course, but it sure feels good to have written and finished one :D
I’m a silent runner, a runner a runner
I’m a silent runner, a runner a runner
I’m a silent runner, a runner a runner
And when i get home I’ll be a loud rummer, a rummer, a rummer

This song was the one she were singing as she walked down the street on this rain-filled day, her knee-long rain-coat and her gray jeans were soaking wet, her hair tucked away inside the green hood. in her hand dangles a plastic bag.

She had walked forever trying to find an open pub to sit in, not cafes, she don’t like cafes. She does not have the patience to keep up with people and their small-talk.
The pub stands there with it’s fence and soaking wet tables, a few smokers stands outside, ready to hurry back inside.

She walks down the street singing her song as it’s taken by the wind.  
The inside of the pub is cozy and warm, old men drinking beer and young men and women watching football. Walking up to the bar she sits down on a black stool and the barkeep: a woman in her 40s says ‘’what shall it be?’’ to this she replies ‘’a beer and two green’’ and the barkeep nods and while tapping the beer the barkeep looks at the girl and she replies ‘’card’’ and holds up her bank-card.  

A beer, a beer. Oh how I love my beer
Some loves coffee, some loves women
But I love beer, oh beer oh beer my one true love.
Without you by my side life becomes unbearable
With you in my hand, life’s once again bearable.

She pays for the beer and shots as the barkeep pours her two green mint-tasting shots, they aint too strong. Only 21%, but the girl likes them. One for her,  and one for her drinking buddy, the bald tattooed man on the opposite side of the bar. ‘’For good health’’ she says, ‘’for free booze’’ he replies, and down goes the shots.

There comes a time when you’re all alone.
There comes a time when you’re in need of someone.
but remember my friend, in times like that there’s nothing like a bottle of rum

And the girl drinks and drinks, she drinks herself warm on the golden drops, she laughs and talks, sometimes he tells her to change topic or shut up and so she does,
A few hours later she had enough, and on her way home she goes.
She puts on her hood and coat as she sings

‘I’m a silent runner, a runner, a runner
I’m a silent runner, a runner, a runner
I’m a silent runner,a runner,  runner
But when I get home I’ll be a loud rummer, a rummer, a rummer.
a rummer a rummer
a rummer a rummer
It's a story i wrote, 
And as the morning light breaks the darkness, there lies men and women on the ground, stiff and unmoving. But as soon as the morning light breaks, they start moving. ‘’urgh....’’they say, as they moan in pain.
And as they crawl to shadows to hide from the pains of the light-beams, they find medicine. a barrel of whiskey lies there. And they all got tankards. They dip their tankards into the whiskey and drinks. Their painful hangover soon leaves them for happy talk as they close the tap on the barrel, and heads out to town.

Walking trough the town their mark are visible. A brightly red majestic tankard, crossed over a bottle-ax. Walking over to the pub they all order themselves some ale and breakfast. And they laugh and talk, shoulders are behind held and beards are being braided.

Soon the breakfast are being devoured, and the ale is nothing but memories past.But soon the brave band of men and women are challenged with a mighty quest. They all get three barrels of whiskey. If they can empty these barrels in less then an hour, they will be able to skip the bar tab.

Our brave heroes are men and women of honour. So they head steadfast at the task. No whiskey have ever beaten them before and none shall beat them now. And soon they are on it again. Drinking and drinking. First barrels goes empty. Then they start on the second, the second is harder. Bellies full of whiskey. Vomit are given to the empty barrel. People are gathering to watch as the band are trying to empty three barrels. Three barrels on six people aint easy.

But they don’t give up. The second barrel are done as the band let out a war-cry as three of them tosses the second barrel into a wall. Crushing it against the rocky wall.

Soon they start on the third. And cheers and laughter are heard as they start on their last enemy, the dreaded third barrel.

And they drink and they drink and they drink. Trying to finnish the last barrel. ‘’hey...try ta finnish so we getta free shthis thime, aye?’’ some voice says, can’t hear from who, it’s distorted. I chug and chug, the whiskey goes down. But the last part of the barrel are not there when the clock strikes twelve.

The curse continues. Another trip. Another drunken day.  No escape?! OF COURSE IT’S AN ESCAPE!!!

We take the barrel and sprints out the bar. Barkeep laughs as he looks as his bartab. ‘’10 souls. Same as always’’
the hero's barrel
barrel barrel barrel barrel
There were dark outside. Pitch black. Mirroring back at her were a male face. Bearded and long-haired. What a weird punishment. Gender-bent and sent to some tiny province.
Taking her rifle she walked over the floors and over to the man in charge. ‘’you are here to defend yourself, the town, and it’s inhabitants from the enemies in the dark. They may look cuddly and cute, but they are not ,they are filty evil animals. Ready for only one thing. Eating you and everyone you love. Is this understood?’’ he said. To which she replied with a weird male voice ‘’Yes sir. Understood’’ and then the mayor told her to leave.

Walking with heavy boots and a blue coat. Only her eyes were left. Brown eyes with a green ring. Not much to do about this situation, weird planet with colonists. This was her punishment. Defending those fucking colonists who probably would o’laughed at her in her old body.

Walking over to the hover-pickup-truck and driving in with other hunters and militiamen. They were sent to the planet to work , now that their sentences were done they could no longer leave. So many had just taken up drinking, fighting and had ended up here, with rifles and guns.

She had a ballistic rifle and a laser-pistol. She liked her automatic laser-pistol. Goes well against the beasts of the planet. Her lacking half-elf ear were seen. And one orc weearing a big coat asks her ‘’whatta happened to yer ear, laddie?’’ to which she replies ‘’fight’’ and points at the stars.

He nods. ‘’ah. Spacer or navy-man. Myself aint much of a smart one. So these beats are good yes?’’ to which she replies ‘’yes. They are good hunt. Some hunt in packs. Some hunts alone. Avoid the spikers. They can detach their spikes to hurt ye’’ to which the orc nods.

As the hunters and militiamen gets to the town they are going to, they find the townsfolk are still building primitive defenses. Wooden palisades, dirt walls and stone walls, the town buildings are in a circle, with the streets filled with palisades, walls and vehicles sat up in defensive positions.

‘’THE HUNTERS HERE GUYS’’ one look-out shouts from atop a chimney. As someone else then starts to wave at us.

We are driven to the middle of town. Where other hunters and soldiers from the planetary garrison are waiting.

‘’the militiamen are going over there right?’’ someone asks. A human who seems to be a militiaman from his blue banner with red stars. A sergeant replies ‘’yes, they are going there. They will be accompanied by a group of hunters. The soldiers are staying in the town-center as a last stand’’

I loads my rifle, bit primitive some may say. But effective, bullets don’t run out of electric power. We’re sent to the outskirts outside the palisade and out to the dirt walls. Townsfolk have formed some sort of militia there too. How intriguing. Lets hope they shoot me instead of the monsters that go bump in the dark.

Sillja and me stands out there by the darkness. Sillja is a 7feet tall wolfman. Wolflady I guess. Claws, fangs and all. She hates the planet of Warra a lot. Too hot for her she says. Good thing we’re in winter now. But it seems to just be like her home-planet’s spring.

Trousers, coat and rifle. She carries a few rifles, she’s the heavy-lifter of us. Her stetson hat is a bit silly, but she likes it.

Booze. Flask out of coat, silver gleaming in the lights of techno-magic light-flooders.
Space-rum. The best rum there ever were. Probably cheapest too. I like it, so I don’t care.

‘’hey.. You hear that?’’ Sillja asks me in her lovely voice. And I listens while the flask stays at my lips. Steps. The monsters are coming.

No idea what they are. We just calls them fillers. They fill the herds of them. Some sort of nomadic beasts. Flesh-eating cattle. Some of the humans calls them flesh-cows. Whatever a cow is. That thing that are now charging at us, aint it.

Rifle up. Aiming in the dark. Gun-fire are heard. Plasma, laser, ballistic, magic darts are flying. The herd of fillers charging at us with a horrible war-cry of a sound. Sillja screams back at them and fires her rotating gun. Minigun? Whatever she called it, it’s firing at the herd storming towards us.

Screaming from inside the walls. Turrets being taken up on the walls. People without guns coming out the gate now. Axes, sledgehammers, tools of all kinds, charging at the cattle. They must be stupid. But what do I know what they are thinking.

‘’WE CAN’T LET THE HERD OF FLESH-COWS COME NEAR US!!’’ one man shouts’’WE SHOULD FIGHT FOR OUR HOMES TOO. TAKE YER TOOLS. WE’RE FIGHTING EM BEFORE THEY GET IN HERE!!’’ and the word spreads trough the town. Letting outsiders fight their battle for them don’t seem to be a thing they like.

Outside the gate stands a pair of hunters, firing at the herd. A drunk half-elf man missing an ear, and one of them dog-folks. The war-cry of the townsfolk are heard as the ones without guns charges forward with their tools.

When morning dusk comes with it’s mist, the dying and dead outside are there, I sigh, drinks up the last of my flask’s rum and says ‘’they were stupid so they died. Warra have no wish for the weak’’ to which Sillja says ‘’Seems you’re right, Sonja. Come, lets head to the town’s tavern. Surely we can get some booze since we helped save their town’’
Welcome to Warra
A new idea I got, after a long abstance from writing stories. I tried my hand on first-person there for a bit too. 
Me thinks tatoos are a great form for art. Because you basically allow an artist to use your skin. your body as a canvas. And one fuck-up from the artist stays with yer an' can't be removed. Kinda like drawing on walls I guess....yeah...I got some tattooos...I never learned to Draw well but I really respect those who can draw an' paint. An' me also thinks that those who are Tattooing on others are doing a great job when doing it well.. Ofcouse its also bad tattoooists. just like with any other art-form. but yeah....I think Tattoos are very personal. even if its just showing what ye liked at that point in yer life ye got that tatoo...still, its nnot going anywhere. 

ON ANOTHER NOTE: all me tatoos is custom jobs. minus the heart on me right arm close to me shouler. itta be a heart that says 'mom'' first tatoo me got. me mother paid it. for both me an me littlebrother. Said  ''Now me branded ye both with me mark'' 

Journal History


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
I are a proud member off the deviantart group CPDA communism
Hope this helps the comrades in CPDA.

OY! YEAH YOU! YOUUUUUUUU!*points finger but misses and falls forward*

''To kill one idiot is to create two more''
''no matter how welleducated you are. You can still be stupid as a log.''


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Madam--Kitty Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi! wanna join my group called Anti-illuminati-01? anti-illuminati-01.deviantart.…
Planken Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
no. I don't believe in conspiracy theories.
BillyAustria Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wooo! A fave from the plank! Thanks! :D
Planken Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No problem.xD
torment6 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
PLANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    YOU ARE ALIVE!!!
Planken Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
AYE ME BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW BE YERRR!!!!!!!!!?

torment6 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Planken Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
(1 Reply)
Layllowggann Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2013  Student Artist
Thanks for the fav dude! :D
Planken Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ikke noe problem^^

my pleasure^^ i cant remember what I favored. But if i favored it I really liked it. SO I THANK YOU FOR THY ART!XD
Layllowggann Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Student Artist
WOW :D so touching! really! I mean, thanks a lot, it's reaction like yours that keeps me doin what I'm doin! xD Thanks! :3
Planken Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha thanks. Hey. you can do me a favor and read one of my stories eh? I can not draw nor paint. the colour always goes everywhere else then where I want them and I start shaking on my hands when I consentrate. So drawing or painting aint for me. but I loves to write.xD…
(1 Reply)
LaPrezCheQueenvara Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Student General Artist
I have made a comic on my page.
Planken Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I read both. Aint suer what to comment. but lemme get some time and Planke here gonna comment a bit. Just don't throw my embassy to the sharks just yet.xD
LaPrezCheQueenvara Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Naw it's fine. Take your time, meanwhile Che has opened up a new inquisition for Raven, Hinata, Starfire, Jinx, Harley and Ivy BDSM artists. The first ones were :iconztunner: and :iconkrobikaa:
LaPrezCheQueenvara Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Student General Artist
Execution of a prisoner-
fukinidiot4fuckinson Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Professional Artist
Making love to Sonja Smith via internet art porn
Planken Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Uh ok?xD
LaPrezCheQueenvara Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Student General Artist
Here are the Neo-Nazi Feminists- [link] they have permanent sneers on their faces and are condered evil dissident-hating insane worshipers.
LaPrezCheQueenvara Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Student General Artist
Small refernce of Planken the Magician here- [link]
Evrielleir Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013
You've been hugged! :squee:

1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- Can't hug someone twice
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!
6-Copy the rules and post this as a journal entry

Planken Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Evrielleir Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013
-sad. :cry: :crying:
Planken Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
LaPrezCheQueenvara Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Hola! What's your next story going to be about?
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